Time for a Fool

Hello, I'm Jimmy. I've just returned to England from a round-the-world trip. I'm 23 and currently unemployed, seeking work of any kind. I'm into music, books, hiking, nature and art. Here I am ruining a beautiful view in Himeji, Japan:

Nice hat, jackass!

Why am I here?

I love to write, always have. Something inside me just 'clicks' when a blank sheet of paper (or screen, to be more relevant to today's standards) transforms into an argument, an ode, an obituary, an explosive action sequence, or just into something as simple as a shopping list.

Of course, any act of creation takes an extraordinary amount of time and effort to accomplish (unless you happen to be God, in which case you're always done with time to spare). And this area appears to be my stumbling block - effort. These days, every time I attempt a project, be it writing, drawing, creating anything of any category you can think of, this paralysing thought always comes into my head:

'But Jimmy, is this all really worth the effort?'

Will it? Will it really be appreciated? Will anyone look upon my creation and actually realise the lengths that have been taken to realise it? Will I even like what I see when it's completed? Wouldn't I rather be doing something easier? It's easy to feel the fool when you look at your own work and scrutinise it.

It's so much easier to just drop out and gaze at the work of others, sapping up all that is said, sung or articulated without any real expense on my behalf. I don't even have to understand it, as long as I'm looking or listening. As long as I feel as though I'm doing something to excuse my own lazy attitude, it's all right. 

Having realised this error in myself, it's about time I turned this attitude upside-down. I'm going to use this blog as a catalyst to get myself back into writing as best I can. Writing shouldn't be about feeling the appreciation of other readers as I mistakenly thought deep down. No. It's just about writing, and to Hell with the consequences. Writing your heart out, whether it's important or not. Writing when you want to and not writing when you want to. Anything shall become my muse from now on.

Whatever I write in here, I'm sure I'll like it. That's all that matters. I'll make sure there's always time for a fool.

Watch this space.